Life Lately

As a result of the ongoing quarantine,most of you can attest they have discovered a lot of new things with their partners or their family members that you didn’t know. Parents have gotten a good chance to interact and understand their kids even better, now that they are spending more time with them, they get to know their kids don’t even use their official names anymore one is “the baddest goon” the other is “empress yule mbaya” but I would say it’s a good thing amidst a pandemic. Others have acquired new skills, cooking, baking reading etc. Am also not left behind, I have recently gone back to my morning outdoor workout and believe me I might come out of this quarantine as the next Kardashian if not Jennifer Lopez so watch out guys!!!.On that case, I have made new friends or rather workout partners and am glad.

I posted something on my status about bringing value to a relationship and I got to many DMs, turns out people don’t actually understand the value they bring to their relationships. It doesn’t have to be wife to husband or girlfriend to boyfriend relationship am talking about all relationships including friends and family.

Let’s face it, no matter how much you care about someone, in relationships, arguments are inevitable. Especially now, when we are cooped up inside the house you may find yourselves fighting more than usual, or if you don’t live with your partner you may find the distance is challenging your relationship in new ways, because now the relationship is limited to technology, you just chat, call or maybe video call them but it’s hard to keep your connection strong without face to face interactions. Bottom line is how you choose to get over your arguments that determines the way forward.

There are two things that we should all understand. Standards and Rules.

Standards: Are the fundamentals for what you will and won’t accept in your relationship e.g. what level of care and love is acceptable to me? That’s my standard.

Rules: Are about the surface level ways that we determine whether someone is meeting your standard e.g. I personally have a rule that says you need to buy me gifts and flowers every now and then so that I know you are thinking about me. You can also have a rule that your partner should call or text you every morning.

The difference between rules and standards is that standards reveal intent and values of your partner and rules are made and they can be adjusted. You can sit down with them and negotiate on some of the rules that you may feel they are not fair to both parties. But for standards it’s a personal thing, you can’t adjust or amend what adds value to someone’s life you can only increase the levels.

Life is as simple as that, it’s either they’ll have the ability to rise to the occasion or they won’t .If they don’t find someone else who can meet your standards. If you find yourself continually dropping your standards for someone else because you aren’t confident in your ability to face them and tell them about it then you might lose your relationship or even yourself in the mix. But you need to know what your standards are…to start with. Create a deep attraction that will make your partner choose to rise up to your level and with that you will both earn respect and value.

Just imagine how amazing it will feel to openly express your emotions to your partner without fear-even letting him know when you’re not thrilled with his behavior-because you are confident in yourself and the value you bring to the relationship.

Learn to continually deepen your bond and hold meaningful conversations also learn how to handle arguments while at it.

Stay at home and stay safe!!!

Until next time

XoXo

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