“Just when I thought I had it all, now that he paid for my bride price and we live in this humongous mansion I thought I am now where I wanted to be at 33 years old ”, she said with a shaky voice and tears almost rolling from her eyes.
Terry, a childhood friend has been in an abusive relationship for the last 2 years. I lived with her when I was in campus and she was this vibrant, outgoing and fun friend until Rob came into her life. He had just finished law school and looking for a job. I don’t believe in true love, but theirs was it, they could do anything for each other, well I don’t know whether it’s right to compare them with Romeo and Juliet but I just did.
She is the kind of lady who buys men expensive gifts, not socks and ties. Well, rob couldn’t afford much back then but she loved him regardless. He later got a job and relocated to Nakuru, they were happy. He went to see her parents because it’s what good men do, not staying with someone’s daughter without their consent.
They later had a baby and that’s when everything changed. “It’s like he was a completely different person you know, I thought our lives would be better, but it was the exact opposite”, She says. “He started coming home late; he would go for random business trips without even telling me. I decided to go to his parents since my baby was still very young. I explained everything to my mother in law but she sided with the son. I felt like I didn’t belong, so I went back to our house again, mark you, am not working, so I used to call him every now and then to send us money”.
Did you at some point think that he wasn’t really on a business trip? “Oh yes every damn time, maybe he is just somewhere with his women enjoying life while I am here staying up all night with the baby.
“Why do you think he changed”? Did you guys enjoy each other as a couple? I ask her. “It wasn’t the same anymore, he even moved to the guest room. He couldn’t even hold me or kiss me anymore. I was disgusting to him, every day you could hear him mention that he would be happy if I moved out of the house. He didn’t care about me anymore, I got into depression, I completely lost it as a woman and as a wife. I didn’t make my hair anymore, I would spend a better part of my days with sweat pants and a loose Safaricom t-shirt. I Lost Touch With my Own Goals, Passions and Life Purpose. Little did I know I was drawing him even further away.
He woke up one day and told me to pack and leave, I couldn’t argue with him because who argues with a narcissist, he can harm you. So I pack my bags, thinking that am going with my baby, he takes him and locks themselves in the bedroom. I leave to my friend’s house where I was hoping to crush until things cool down. I narrate my woes to my friend and she tells me I need a job, but how will I even start I don’t even a penny on me. I stayed at her place for 2 weeks but something told me I should go back to Rob. So I went back, I was so happy to see my baby again.
This happened for like 3 months, he had completely lost interest in me as a woman, and he couldn’t even stand seeing me. He would come back from work, without even saying a word, he holds his son for a while then goes to sleep in the guest room. At this point, I am a total stranger in my own home. I was so confused, I had a 7 months old son, I am jobless. I honestly didn’t know what to do.
3rd of January is when I said enough is enough after he came home drunk and in the company of a lady holding hands. They were both drunk, they stormed into my sitting room and Rob ordered me to give them space that they needed to discuss private matters. At this point, I am so confused, am feeling betrayed, disrespected and hurt. My heart was bleeding, I stood took my baby and walked to the bedroom. My Emotional Range Is Blunted I am now in That Limbo Territory between Neutral, Angry and Resentful. Sobbing uncontrollably I packed my clothes and my son’s then called my aunt who was a cop, she arrived just when I had finished packing. Rob was a bit surprised to see her, my aunt told him that she was leaving with me and the baby was coming with us too. He tried to argue with her but he gave up. We drove off and that was the end of my misery. I stayed with my aunt, got a job and later moved to my own place.
Now, am just focused on properly raising my son so that he would not turn out like his father when he grows up. My son filled that void, I am now a happy single parent and at peace. I can now appreciate my flaws“.
Wow at this point, I was on the last sip of my cold sprite, and am like Phew!!!!
People can really change but it’s upon you as an individual to decide whether you will let their change affect you.
Until next time